I am sure if one would talk to the people I know...the people who know me, many would agree that I am not being very Christmas like this year. It is another year that I have not been able to be home to be with my family for Christmas, a fact even more importantly since Paula passed and this is the first holiday without her here on this planet. Rest assured, although I am "numb" in some ways, I suppose trying to put off the holiday experience in other ways, I am forever in awe of what Christmas means. I just have had the need to be quiet.
I was listening to a sermon the other day on the radio. The speaker was talking about how the shepherds who got the news of Jesus birth were common people. I love that God chose common people to share the good news with first. The speaker talked about how common people today are like janitors, mechanics, people like me, and factory workers etc. I also recollect how mom talked about how we are just "common" people. I love that . It is like some of the scales dropped off my eyes because I know that I am or will never be anything without Jesus. I think perhaps although there are many rich and noncommon people both in that time and today that if the angels were to speak to them, they would have never believed in a million years that Jesus would have come as a baby. Then they possibly would try to reason it through human logic, try to find all kinds of reasons to disprove it, and it would probably really become annoying to the rest of us. I am a thinker, probably more than I should be, but I know that I know that God exists.
It was fun coming to work tonight because as I walked out in the brisk cold night, and looked up at the sky, I could imagine Mary and Joseph traversing the desert on the way to Bethleham on such a night as this.
I know this is short, but I am thinking in spurts these days. It is hard to miss my sister so much, but I also know that she is having a wonderful time joining in with the angels for her first Christmas with the one who makes all possible. Jesus.
Thanks to him for giving me a beautiful family, and a hope of heaven. What a beautiful gift......
