"i've got it covered"

"So I sit here in Indiana, once again a grateful woman. I know that the battle is not over against cancer, but as I sit here looking at my sister, I am amazed at the providence of God. Paula looks great. Today is a good day, and I just enjoy being under the same roof with her. Maybe that is what being a family is all about.....just being... No one has to prove anything to anyone. I also think about young Hannah and how she has to walk through this time after the airplane crash this week. Who else but God could've known that Melody Green would be there for this young lady? I will be honest and say that I was in a panic this last Saturday with all of this business with the ER in Lutheran. Panic over Paula, panic over mom and dad, panic over getting to Indiana, panic over the job ..You name it, I was in panic. And as only God can do, He shows up. He shows up in a worship team that played before the church service, in a pastor that knows when to back away when I was praying, in a person I never met before coming up and introducing themselves, whenever I was totally in another world. The provident thing on that was what I term "Jesus eyes". That would be someone who looks at you and it is like they can see clear down to your toes. I am so torn about staying in Oshkosh and moving back to Indiana. Personally, I believe I should be in Oshkosh, at least till such a time that I would have to be in Indiana. I have been so touched by God in so many ways in Oshkosh, even though I have been through so many trials. He walks with me, even when I wander off like a sheep in the wilderness. There were so many things-on the way to Indiana-that were coming to me like somewhat of a waterfall. I realized that I probably needed Kevin and the things that he taught me even more than he needed me. I probably in a lot of ways was more broken than Kevin. I remain grateful that he was in my life. So I get home, and poor mom and dad....I rush in like a hurricane and the room is a mess and the dog is loud, but Katie loves mom and dad so much that it is wonderful, even when everything is not just perfect. Family.... As per usual, I have a terrible time sleeping and I still feel like I could sleep like a year, but the wonderful wonderful part is life is just the right pace. I have thought a lot about what Kevin used to tell me in regard to more education, and rising up in the ranks in healthcare. "You could affect patient care." I have been so frustrated in what seems like doctors running mom and Paula from here to there, and what if I could affect patient care? I love one on one with patients more than anything. I love those in that are not the high in society in particular. But how in the world with a mindset that is not of this world do you change a system that is so broken? Good question. So I am sleeping, and get woke up by this thought. "I've got it covered". I know it sounds simple, but I believe it came from God. All the panic, any distress, all the worry just for this one day, I believe God has it covered. I respond "but....." and the answer comes back "I've got it covered". I know tomorrow may be different, but just for today.....I believe..... God has it covered.