Waking up to stare death in the face

Lonely, but not alone. I sat waiting for the ambulance to bring my best friend to the hospital. He was said to be in serious condition, and I began to walk around in a fog. I remembered a long time ago that a friend told me when you feel that you are walking in a fog to always look up. Which is always great advice until you are sitting right in the middle of your world just about to turn upside down.
"He told me this was not your fault" said the officer standing in front of me. Andrew (name changed to protect his identity) "I begged him every day for the last three years to go to the hospital. "Every day" as the tears began to fall. So I waited. and waited some more.

So treatment began. I was encouraged by the less experienced of the two doctors to prepare for my friend to die. The older wiser one, working with this wonderful nurse with the strength of ten men, began to work with my friend to give him more time on this earth.

It is very difficult to even try to start this story, but I want to get to the point of what has been my life in particular since September 1, 2001. I have been lonely, in that I have been way out of my comfort zone. Oshkosh is a different culture than I was brought up in. Being married at 40 my goodness was a challenge on it's own, but I have to tell you as sure as I am sitting here writing this today. I know that God has been in every part of my getting married so late, learning to work with medical situations, being away from my center core of my family in Indiana. Even in the losing of my dearest dearest friend on this earth. I believe with all my heart He had to pull me away from all of those I depended on so much so I could learn to rely more on Him. I do not say this lightly. Those days that I will tell you about in the future are days that if they had happened before I moved here, I don't think I would have ever believed it. I have known the pleasure of God's presence sitting in my car while I drove to Milwaukee to see my best friend. There are a million other stories I could tell but I fear I would be completely drained should I tell them all at once.

All I know is that God has been so incredibly full of grace in His loving me. There are so many days I feel like the woman with the issue of blood that fell just to touch the hem of Jesus garment. Just that one touch can make a whole world of difference. And as the Gaither song says "Just one touch, and a New Life Began"...

Jesus walk with me through each day. Help me help others along the way in Your name. And help me to stay out of the way.

I remain yours forever.....

gracie :)

We're Not Home Yet

There is a song that says "this is not where i belong" take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong"

I don't have any idea who wrote this song, but the person is a genius. I just came in from a day that was honestly quite the handful. I have made it my personal policy to very rarely watch the news, but I was taken in by the story of the little 9 year old who was missing when I was in Indiana. Today they found her. Evil beat her head in and cut her precious body up and placed her in a freezer. Thankfully the angels were able to escort that sweet little one to the hands of the Father, and yet we are left to question how can evil persist in a country that is founded on a foundation of faith?


Have we indeed lost our first Love? I pray not. There was a celebrity who was dying for attention who let Evil work through his mouth to attack a public believer who makes no apologies for his faith. I have to say I feel sorry for those folks who have no idea what they are doing when they mock the Creator of the Universe. I pray that they will come across someone who will share with them the Truth, and I also pray they will be receptive to it. But mainly I feel sorry for them.

I listened to a person tonight speak of their family members with words I can't even imagine saying against an enemy, and most certainly not a family member. I hope and pray that some day all of the folks who have built up so much anger in their hearts against Christians, and against their own families, can come to a place of understanding at the very least. I don't know, I may get mocked myself, but I can't imagine being in a place where the words that come out of my mouth are that hateful. God help me to make a stand for integrity.

For those readers who may be estranged from their family members......please stop and think.....and appreciate that someday things can radically change......and your life could be turned upside down.

We hang onto God because of a wonderful family. Both by blood, and by His blood on the Cross. We hang on to each other because we love each other......and not only that people....WE ACTUALLY LIKE EACH OTHER.!!!!

Hold to God's unchanging hand. We're not home yet!